Although the bank finally cleared up my mistaken $11K, I realized today that although we jumped through hoops for them to remove the $11 fee for transferring the money into my account, I have now been charged a $16 fee to move the money out of the account.

Ironically, this goes to show that honesty does not pay. In fact, it charges you fees.

posted by paula 2:35 PM

Tags I hope the W3C considers recognizing in the next version of HTML:
<sarcasm>
<soapbox>
<tirade>
<snicker>
<gasp!>
<guffaw>
<irony>
<sigh>
</world hunger> (Hey -- why not?)

posted by paula 8:44 AM

A good use of Flash.
I’m not a big fan of Flash – especially for professional websites. Regardless of whether you get that ‘skip intro’ button or not, Flash’s ‘wow’ effect lasts only for the first visit and then becomes irritating. But this just raises the bar. Liquid Generation is an exceptional, amusing website with great content. Warning: This website contains questionable* content that should probably be saved for someplace other than your workplace and is better viewed with a high-speed Internet connection. My favorite: Masterpiece Movie Reviews. Professor Butterhands rocks – hands down.

*I should not need to define what ‘questionable’ means.

Oh, and Happy Birthday Google!

posted by paula 10:53 AM

My kung-fu ninja dog could kick Jackie Chan’s ass.
Bassets, like any dog are cuddly creatures. At a moments notice they’ll be up in your lap, like a curled up little heating blanket. Friday’s no exception. However in the time that we’ve had Friday, we’ve come to discover that Bassets, in general, feel more comfortable laying with you if the rear part of their nether region is in the vicinity of your head. If invited up on the couch or laying next to you on the bed, their hind end is always in clear view, probably just inches from your face. We bathe Friday often so this doesn’t become a problem.
This past weekend I also discovered that like all dogs, Friday has fur that juts out between each pad of skin on the bottom of his feet. Presumably, this fur is ticklish to the touch, as a small brush of the finger will sometimes illicit a knee-jerk response more forceful than any kick Bruce Lee could deliver to his worst enemy. That’s just sometimes. The other times Friday just gets annoyed, grunts and then moves just outside of my reach.
Last weekend, Ryan was laying on the couch watching football when Friday took his place on Ryan’s stomach, usual ass-in-face position. I was seated on the floor, next to the couch and its inhabitants, chatting away about how horribly the Packers were playing. It was during this conversation that I made a mistake that I’d love to regret, but was simply too hilarious to do so: I began to play with fur in Friday’s feet. In my defense, I would love to say that NEVER in my wildest dreams did I expect what I imagine might come true. Odds are generally not in my favor, so I assumed that nothing would come of the situation. I was wrong.
It was in Ryan’s mid-sentence football commentary that Friday eventually had had enough and he delivered three kicks directly to Ryan’s neck, cheek and nose. Looking back, I could almost hear the sound of his feet hitting Ryan’s face in rapid succession: “Thwap! Thwap! Thwap!” What resulted was a nanosecond of utter chaos, with Friday flying through the air among expletives that I hope my children will never be subject to. Meanwhile, I had collapsed to the floor -- the series of events replaying themselves slowly in my mind – a jiggling pile laughter. I’m not quite sure if it was my intermittent gasps for air that broke through Ryan’s anger, or the realization that his complaints about eyes getting poked out had gone largely ignored. Either way, I’m not allowed to touch the dog’s feet again.

posted by paula 8:08 AM

The cost of a monogamous relationship.
Last night we attended a course on “Home Buying in the 21st Century,” through the community education here in Bloomington. We got the education catalog about three weeks ago and browsing through it, I noticed the class -- held by an unrecognizable name – which was exactly what I was looking for. I have sat victim to too many realtors and listened to tirades about how much money I was exactly losing and how I could not afford to live in my apartment one day longer.
I’ve lived here almost thee years. Ryan’s lived here 2 ½ and we agree, the rent is egregious, the service here is even worse. And now, our living is subject to the new slightly questionable, certainly pathological lying management that has taken over. But we know that there are certain elements that keep us here -- namely laziness. Oh sure, I could justify it by saying that the location is ideal, the large yards are wonderful for Friday to roam in, we know plenty of our neighbors and they’re quite nice or blame it on us not willing to commit to a house while we’re not married – which are all true -- but it all comes down to the fact that we’re too lazy to look for another place to live. What we’ve accumulated since move-in has been immense and heavy; a granite and steel dining room table, large overstuffed living room furniture and a 235 lb. TV to name just a few. I feel like moving would be a task worthy of training for at my local gym. So we stay.
And we’ve had good intent. We’re learning about home buying – not wanting to just jump into the process when the time comes. But like I said, having sat captive for a realtor’s hard-sell before, I’m wary of them and wanted to learn about home buying from what I thought would be an unbiased source.
When we arrived at our local high school for the class and finally found the classroom that we were assigned to, the room was empty. We marveled at the little drawings that high school kids are forced to make to display mathematical properties and I silently and sarcastically wondered why this whole state seems to be baffled as to why the education system here sucks – after all, our kids are busy drawing MC Escher-like pictures in math class all day. It was then that the realtor walked into the room as well as a few others that were there to take the class. I felt duped, but after the obligatory introductions and a few awkward minutes of chatter, our class of 10 people was set to go.
George started by tooting his own horn – presenting us with a sheet of his career accomplishments comparable to the length of O.J. Simpson’s wrap sheet. If this was his schpiel, I wasn’t impressed. And it wasn’t long before he was spewing his fuzzy math all over the blackboard. Somehow, by the magic of David Copperfield himself, this man had deduced that a 30-year mortgage on a $175,000 house would only cost us $198 a month to live in.
Confused? You should be.
You see, every realtor that I’ve ever encountered here does what I call fuzzy math – and it’s typically the pitfall of their sale and what ultimately costs them my business. To convince you to buy a home their equation works like this:
Selling price of home - down payment = total investing price
After figuring out your mortgage at the most insanely low percentage rate you can think of, (which you probably won’t qualify for because of the one late payment you made on that Visa back in college) they figure out your monthly payments and do the following:
Monthly payment + real estate taxes + insurance = Total Monthly Investment or TMI (hint: this is your monthly mortgage payment)
Here’s where the trickiness comes in:
TMI – the amount of taxes that you’ll be able to deduct at the end of the year – the equity that you’re building in your home – the value that your home is increasing by each month = $198
Voila! You see? You’re insane to live in your apartment when it would only really cost you $198 to live in a house each month! Buy, buy, buy! Buy now before someone else snatches up this great deal!! Sorry George, no deal.
I’m assuming that this fuzzy math gets a lot of young, mathematically challenged people into trouble when it comes to how much they can afford in their mortgage every month. And yes, I’m not arguing with the benefits of home ownership. But sometimes being in a committed, happily non-married, monogamous relationship costs more than married because you’re not willing to just go out and make a $200,000 purchase together. And yes, if you’re thinking $200k sounds high, I do, too. So read here to see why.

posted by paula 9:13 AM

There’s nothing quite like going through an interview for a job you really, really want, exchanging witty and intellectual commentary with the interviewer, having the interview in the bag and then hearing that you’ll be called back to do virtually the same thing for other people next week.

This morning I had an interview with a non-profit in another suburb. At first I thought it would be a ‘leap’ of a job, because non-profit usually equals non-pay, but when I found out that the situation was quite different, I was elated. Apparently non-profits take their time in the selection process – they accepted applications for a few weeks, yet I took it as a good sign that I was called back to schedule an interview only a day or two after I submitted my résumé. But it was only last night that after investigating the job, I decided that I really wanted the position. However, in my investigations I realized that my predecessor was a woman in her forties, quite established in the community.

This morning was the interview and I was almost late, thrown off by the street address on the outside of the building being different from the actual street address of said non-profit. I made it in with minutes to spare, exchanged that pleasant but somewhat-awkward I’m-trying-to-look-casual-but-still-impress-you greeting with the interviewer and we made our way into his office. Luckily, he’s young – or at least looks it – and made a comment regarding ‘people of our age’ which put my mind at ease about the aforementioned predecessor.

To my surprise, I wasn’t nervous at all. I smiled, we exchanged witty commentary and on several occasions I made him laugh. I also received positive feedback with comments like “Wow, no one else has really touched on that point yet,” and “That’s a great way of putting it. I like that.” I fed him everything that he could possibly want to hear, not because I knew he wanted to hear it but because I truly believed it – after all, I’m attracted to the position because it’s finally what I believe in and can see myself doing.

He of course had a few prearranged questions, which just served as a base to compare candidates, but most of the interview was a great conversation – professional yet fun. At the end, I wrapped up noting that I was quite impressed with him and his organization and clearly but non-offensively expressing my desire to work there. I felt I had it in the bag. At that point, I knew that I had blown the woman before me out of candidacy – she with her raggedy hair and boring black suit. I didn’t know what the other candidates looked like, but I was pretty sure that I had made a connection that some, if not all of them had not. I have never been so certain of an interview before.

As we wrapped things up, he confirmed that I’d be hearing from him (and probably seeing him) soon. He said he’d finish interviewing this week and notify candidates early Monday or Tuesday and then they’d be setting up the second round at the end of next week. Second round? At that point, my confidence faded – I was certain I had struck gold with this man, but who knows what lies ahead. This particular non-profit deals with a board of directors, who could quietly subject me to rounds of endless, torturous questioning and grilling. Images of sitting in front of a panel of 50-somethings, judging me on my age and naiveté while sipping cold coffee and peering over their glasses came to mind. I certainly have my work cut out for me.

posted by paula 11:36 AM

I'm pretty sure this one goes down in the books of 'offends some random person who takes life a little too seriously.' This guy had a little Photoshop fun and took this and made them into these.

posted by paula 12:00 PM

Early this year, Apple started releasing a series of ads aimed at repositioning themselves within the home computing market. The series, properly titled ‘Switch’ portrays both white and blue collared Americans relating their PC frustrations, which led to the ultimate, enlightened switch to a Mac.

Maybe I’m missing the mark here, but aside from the 15 people who use Macs for their sheer graphic design power, is this really the type of stigma that Apple hopes to achieve? To me, they’re trying to surround themselves with a aura of idiocy; something that says “No, please don’t try to challenge my intellect. It’s all I can do just to get dressed in the morning.” Or better yet, “Now that I've had my full frontal lobotomy, I don't have to deal with my PC worries anymore.” And these ideas aren’t that far off of their own words. If you refresh Apple’s main page enough times you’ll find Theresa McPherson, a lawyer and entrepreneur. She’s quoted as saying “When I started my own company, I needed a computer I could figure out. I don’t need an IT department.” I can’t tell you how comforting it is to know that my legal matters rest in the hands of someone who’s so forthcoming about her shortcomings. That must have potential clients breaking down Theresa’s doors.

No, computers aren’t second nature to many of us. And yes, the PC actually takes a little work, despite Microsoft’s efforts to make it a virtually idiot-proof machine. But as one of my friends has stated regarding the issue: “Apple sure is covering the moron market.” Of their top ten reasons to switch to a Mac, Apple sites the beauty of the machine as one of the attributes. Beauty? Come on. As if computer users look at their computers as nothing but pretty little paperweights. To boot, their store at the Mall of America is gigantic, with large screens of flashing video to entice the ADD afflicted and little in the way of actual technology.

The whole thing reeks with the condescension of an adult talking to a newborn in that cooing, goo-goo, gaa-gaa sort of way. Instead of making the Mac seem less complicated, they make it seem plainly stupid. The whole thing makes me wonder if Apple actually can sell computers by insulting the intelligence of its consumers. If that’s so, they may have discovered a new brand of marketing.

posted by paula 8:58 AM

Waitingonfriday.com: Good for your career, too!
This morning I received this little treasure in my inbox:

From: N.J.
Sent: Sunday, September 22, 2002 9:42 AM
To: paula@waitingonfriday.com
Subject: N/A


The other day as I was sitting at work, one of my coworkers asked (to
nobody in particular over the cubicle wall), "Blogging? What the hell is
that?" Of course, as a faithful waitingonfriday.com reader, I knew exactly
what it was. After explaining it to him, his only response was a stunned
silence, then, "You really do know everything, don't you?" Now, if that
little gem could get back to my boss before my review, there may be
concrete proof that visiting waitingonfriday.com at work is good for your
career!

Yes N.J., perhaps it is. My problem is that I spend too much time on Waiting on Friday and it's doing quite the opposite for me.

posted by paula 12:09 PM