Ryan introduced me to a new blogger, who is cool just for having bassets. LizSpeaks is about, well...Liz. Obviously I was originally attracted to the site for the bassets -- after all, I thought I was the only freaky basset lover who blogged. But Liz's blog is pretty cool just because she's her natural self. For all you homies out there, Liz be keepin' it real.

posted by paula 5:58 PM

I got three catalogs from Victoria’s Secret today. Count ‘em: THREE. Yesterday there was one. Nothing the day before. And three the week before that. No kidding.
Normally, this would be a good thing, but there’s only so much lingerie a girl can look at and I’m afraid already own at least one of everything they have to sell. Double no kidding.
It's evident the Christmas season is already starting because we can’t go a day without picking up our mail, otherwise suffer disparaging remarks from an angry postman. Or woman – which in my opinion would be much worse because hell hath no fury like a postwoman’s scorn.
While I enjoy flipping through the occasional Christmas catalog of Ye’ Old National Conglomerate Retailer of Your Choice, I have to admit that this is getting a bit overdone. I’m ready to file a catalog harassment suit in small claims for any number of reasons that support my claim of ‘physical and possibly irreparable psychological harm;’ paper cuts, stress of having to deal with the loads of mail, not to mention that I almost tripped down the steps lugging all the old catalogs out to the garbage. And getting all these catalogs might just venture on dangerous for someone who is a borderline shop-a-holic like me, no?
In any case, I suspect I’m on their lists because the retail Christmas season was made for people like me. Flashing lights, glittery objects, bright colors, you name it and if it catches my eye I’m left practically mesmerized in the store, staring with mouth agape. Or at the very least, I’m distracted to the point that any train of thought I might happen to be in comes to a screeching halt similar to those of Amtrak crashes.
Take for example, your nearest Pottery Barn store. I swore off Pottery Barn almost a year ago but their new color this season is red – and red is currently my favorite color. The other night I was so enthralled at the virtual bloodbath of rich reds and burgundies in the store that I almost forgot where I was at the moment.
No, this isn’t some form of ADD. I can concentrate just fine the other 300 days of the year. It’s just that time during Christmas that I’m a sucker for anything even remotely holiday. Heck, as long as Santa Claus sprinkles some glitter on my coal, I’ll be happy. And until then, marketers are hauling out everything they got trying to catch my attention. Yes, it’s a nice feeling to be so wanted.

posted by paula 5:41 PM

Which would you rather have? An accident caused by road rage or an accident caused by inattentive driving because you were beating your Road Rage Buddy?

posted by paula 6:54 AM

Weird news: Someone is making Midwest college students go missing. Count missing reaches four since Halloween.

Cool news: Amazon.com is now selling clothes. The Internet super-giant has now signed over 400 + brand names to its list of retailers, like Polo, Gap, Old Navy, BCBG and other trendsetters for the young crowd. I don’t mind Amazon for electronics and home accessories, but I can’t really fathom them as a portal to my favorite clothiers. The pros: I can get a shirt from Gap, pants from Old Navy and a purse from Polo all with one shipping fee and one shopping cart. How cool is that? The warehouse logistics of it all are mind boggling.

I recently learned of a college friend’s separation from their spouse. I was in Hallmark today, looking for a card for other reasons when I thought of said friend and searched for a card to send to them when it occurred to me: What does one send to someone whose relationship is falling apart? Or for that matter, in any sort of situation that might be awkward or unfortunate, but nevertheless you’d like to send your thoughts? I suddenly imagined a whole genre of cards to convey regret or empathy that could not simply be covered under the ‘coping’ or ‘sympathy’ headings. Those such as “Divorce,” “Death of a Pet,” “Messy Breakup” or “Recently Discovered Terminal Illness.” Or more appropriate to the times, “Position Eliminated,” “Downsized” or “Lost Retirement Fund to Corporate Scandal” so that your old co-workers may send their sympathies after your untimely demise.

I’m only half-kidding when I say that. And of course, I’m not trying to poke fun at anyone’s misfortune by belittling life-changing events. What I’m trying to say is that most people do not have the gift of Emily Post-like refinement; readily conjuring up just the right thing to say at the right time. Most do not know the exact way to handle ill-fated situations and in result, say nothing at all, which sometimes causes much more damage to a relationship than saying the wrong thing. Hallmark already covers just a few of those situations -- sympathy, coping, encouragement and apologies – so why not go a step further?

What’s more is that I’m sure I’ll be in one of those situations some day, if I haven’t already. And instead of dragging on through painful conversations, rehashing the break in to my car or the day I got my pink slip, it’d be nice just to know that my friends are thinking of me when they send me a Hallmark greeting. It seems that there needs to be something to fill that void between “I don’t know what to say” and “We’re best friends that don’t need to say anything.” So why doesn’t Hallmark try to fix that by giving us the words to say?

posted by paula 9:50 PM

The fifteen minute weekend review.

Things I’ve observed this weekend:
1. Gambling, when not done in places like Las Vegas, Reno or Monte Carlo is much sadder than it is glamorous.
2. To a Chippendale, there is no difference between a five dollar bill and a one dollar bill. The dance you get is the same.
3. Native Americans have cheesified the image of the casino by dressing their staff up in pirate outfits with parrots on their shoulders.
4. In casinos, everyone smokes. Even when going to the bathroom.
5. Contrary to popular belief, many of the Chippendales are not homosexual.
6. Boyfriends and husbands are often intimidated by good-looking, male dancers.
7. Twelve hours of sleep on Saturday night will not make you feel any better about getting up at five thirty on Monday morning.
8. Even if you’re the mob’s biggest earning soldier, if you’re a rat and try to kill Tony Soprano, you’ll get what’s coming to you.
9. No one, at any time or in any place (but your room) or under any circumstances or under any level of intoxication may take pictures inside Treasure Island Casino in Red Wing, MN or they will take the film out of your camera. This may become a huge problem if you happen to be taking said pictures with a digital camera.

It’s probably just as well that we don’t have pictures to document the whole affair since I’m sure the memories will be quite vivid in our minds. Or perhaps not.
We raced back up to the cities on Saturday and then it was back down to Northfield for the St. Olaf Wrestling Team’s reunion of sorts. We returned on Saturday evening exhausted; Ryan because he wrestled and I for obvious reasons. We quite literally collapsed at about 8 o’clock and slept for about 11 ½ hours, which is irregular practice in our house.
Then we did the typical Minnesotan things on Sunday morning: breakfast at Sydney’s, window shopping in the Galleria, browsing through Barnes and Noble, a Sam’s Club stop, all in time to make it home to watch some football and three episodes of The Sopranos First Season and then this season’s new episode at 8 pm. Yes, when it comes to The Sopranos, we’re couch potatoes. Never before have we been so addicted to a show that we plant ourselves on the couch three hours a weekend to catch up on old episodes. And thanks to my brother and his wife, I’ve been able to reap the rewards of Ryan’s birthday gift as well: The First Season. Goodbye old, dull Sex and the City! Hello Soprano family!

And thus ends my morning break.

posted by paula 9:08 AM