How to get noticed at the gym:

1. Sport one Don Johnson, Miami Vice era tan.
2. Look like you’re waiting to head to a divorcee nightclub to pick up somethin’ that’s been sittin’ there for a long time.
3. Take one Ralph Lauren, yellow striped, button down shirt and remove the sleeves at the shoulder’s seams. Don’t bother to remove any threads that are left dangling in the process. Make sure the bottom of the shirt hits mid-thigh. Don it proudly.
4. Slip into one pair, much brighter yellow spandex shorts, but hike them up so you can hardly see them under the shirt.
5. Lace up your 80’s-esque Nike high tops over your crunched up socks.
6. Work it like it’s nobody’s business.

posted by paula 6:25 PM