I'll take cran apple juice over cranberry any day.
I am the window-seat junkie. I love the window seat and I’ll willingly admit that anytime my husband and I have flown, I’ve selfishly kept it for myself.
Our last flight was different. I graciously offered the seat to Ryan, in exchange for the use of his shoulder to prop my head upon.
For years I have wanted to sit next to an interesting person on a plane. Not since I met the nice Filipino on my flight from Thailand have I had a person worth making conversation with.
It seems that karma would have otherwise. In my grand gesture towards Ry, I was sat between him and a woman I wouldn’t soon forget. I didn’t catch her name, but by ten minutes into the flight, I’d come to know her well enough that names were a formality.
To say that this woman was a talker, would be an absurd understatement. This woman had lung capacity that Lance Armstrong would envy, and wasn’t interested in hearing about anyone else or having anyone else acknowledge her comments. She never made eye contact. She simply leaned into your seat and talked in your general direction, but kept her voice loud enough that everyone within a three row radius could join in her conversation if desired.
Yes, she talked. She talked constantly for the first ten minutes of the flight, until I my polite “mm hmms” and “uh huhs” gave way to a yawn and an hour and twenty three minutes of feigned sleeping. But before my rudeness cut her off, here are just a few of sordid subjects she covered:
She was from La Crosse, WI and wouldn’t arrive home until 11:45 that night.
Her sister lives in Denver – has for eight years – but this is the first time she’s gone to visit.
She was in Colorado for eight days.
Her whole family is overweight – upwards of 250 or 300 pounds a piece. This makes it difficult for them in such high altitudes.
She loves the frozen, frothy coffee drinks from places such as Starbucks. She finds them expensive and slightly rude when they ask if she wants whip cream on top. For that price, of course she does.
She has a daughter who is in the Army and is stationed in Iraq. She thinks she’ll come home in March.
Her daughter is married to a man in the Navy.
While she’s over in the Middle East, she ships her and other soldiers, 60-pound care packages. This package contains a bear, since her daughter collected them when she was little. We were privileged enough to get a glimpse of the furry thing.
Whatever she ate on Thursday morning gave her diarrhea. According to her, everything she ate after that just “went right through me.”
During her stay in Colorado, she visited Buffalo Bill’s and his wife’s graves. We saw the postcards. The panoramic view from his wife’s grave is amazing.
On the flight to Denver, a saleswoman approached her and said “You look like a woman who enjoys nice things.” She then attempted to sell her clothing. She was put off by her forwardness.
She thinks other passengers are stupid when they ask “Do you want to get in?” of other passengers. She’s willing to admit this loudly.
She ate a lot of rich food on vacation, but she’s watching her girlish figure.
She’ll take cranapple juice over cranberry any day.
